


why can't you

by charjace



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Sunset Curve never died AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29693649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: “I’m sorry I hurt you,” Luke whispers into the room, stepping closer to him as he did so. Fingers going to hold Reggie’s in a better hold – to intertwine their fingers. They both want it, and they both know it – they want each other again and Reggie knows it, but he has to stand his ground.Reggie steps away, pulling his hand away from Luke and faces him, “No. I know why we did what we did, but... I... we can’t do this again if we can’t be honest about it. So, no Luke.” He prides himself on how well he handled that, in making himself heard and walking out of the bathroom with his head held high even if his heart was sinking so far into the ground.
Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 99





	why can't you

**Author's Note:**

> based on _secret love song pt2_ by little mix!

**_ 1995 - 1999 _ **

Their night at the Orpheum had done everything they had all been dreaming of. A record label manager found their music, and they were  quickly signed . By the time they were in their twenties, people all over America knew their names. They knew of  _ Sunset Curve _ , and you could find fans in other countries too, slowly they were getting a bigger worldwide fanbase. Though, their manager upon finding out about Alex – well, he wanted to keep it  under wraps , but Alex  didn’t , and neither did the rest of the band. They were happy for Alex, and none of them wanted to let Alex hid himself away.

The press had a field day with the first magazine that they had an interview with, and how ‘ _ Drummer of Sunset Curve, Alex Mercer unavailable?’ _ being the line that caught eyes of many fans. They lost a few fans, but to them – they  weren’t _ real _ fans, not if they  couldn’t accept one of them for who they are, and who they love. Yet...

_We keep behind closed doors_   
_Every time I see you, I die a little more_   
_Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls_

**_ 2000 - 2001 _ **

**_ “Luke Patterson, Lead Singer of Sunset Curve _ ** _ spotted with... a hickey or two? Who is the mysterious lady?” _ Reggie reads from the article in the magazine that was handed to them by Alex that morning at their practice. Luke was on the couch, his arm lightly wrapped around Reggie as they lazed on the couch with the TV playing in the background. A small laugh left Reggie’s lips as he read the rest of the article after finally getting around to having a look at it fully, “They think  _ Rose _ of all people gave you them. She’s _ engaged _ .”

“Well, they got a  _ few _ things right,” Luke muses, causing Reggie to turn to look at him, “For one,” Luke lifts his arm that isn’t still loosely slung around Reggie, moving it to rest his fingers under the bassist chin, gently  guiding it closer to his face, “I  _ am _ seeing someone, their name  _ does _ so happen to also start with  _ R _ and they happen to be a musician too.”

A faint redness coloured across Reggie’s cheeks, and across his nose and he leans in to press a soft kiss to Luke’s lips, “Hmmm true.”

On stage, they jump around and play their instruments – letting the music overtake them as the crowd sings along their creation. It makes him so happy, so  _ giddy _ and he likes it when he gets to have his moments with  _ him _ on stage.  It’s small and theirs, the closeness they get when Luke beckons him over to share a mic – when  they’re singing words right at each other, smiles bright on their lips and so much love in their eyes that if it  weren’t for the crowd Reggie would surge forward and press his lips against Luke’s. There have been many times where  he’s dreamt of it, and one nearly  close call when they were rehearsing three months ago – no one knew of them. It was just  _ theirs _ .

Soft kisses shared when no one is looking, subtle touches and looks when they know there are eyes on them. There was only so much they were willing to risk.

_As you drive me to my house_   
_I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down_   
_You and I both have to hide on the outside_

**_ 2002 _ **

Tears were falling from his eyes as he looked at Luke, a light downturn of his lips as his boyfriend didn’t even look at him. He  _ hated _ this, having to hide away who they were, to keep these things  _ quiet _ for fear of ‘ruining’ the band as their manager had told them once they found out about the couple. It’s quiet, and Reggie doesn’t want to get out of the car just. Hell, he doesn’t  _ want _ to get out, not without Luke but Luke isn’t getting out of the car not tonight. 

“Luke... _ Say something _ ,” Reggie pleas, hating how his voice shakes as he lets the words spill from his lips. He wants to reach out, to grab hold of his hand but he knows that Luke will pull away. After a few moments of silence, and Luke not saying anything, Reggie sighs, “Fine. Be like that then. I’m not coming to  rehearsal tomorrow. You figure out an excuse.”

Wiping at his eyes, he undoes his seatbelt and climbs out of the car. Holding himself together as he walks up to his home, holding himself barely together until he reached his room where he broke down crying. It was getting harder as each day passed to  _ hide away _ his love. 

Photos for the next few months come out in the magazine,  _ Sunset Curve’s Luke Patterson dating Model Angelica Lynch _ . He learnt to not show his emotions when he was asked about it in any interview, he was now the only ‘single’ one in the band now. He would plaster on a smile, and act as if hearing Luke’s name alongside one that wasn’t his doesn’t make him want to cry. It was all a publicity stunt – a way to control the media. Reggie didn’t like it.

He watched from the window as Angie and Luke share a kiss, before she climbs back into the car so she could go to her own  _ real _ partner. When Luke enters the home, he sees Reggie near the window. A small frown forming on his lips as he walks over to his boyfriend, “I love you,” Luke says, grabbing hold of the curtain and sliding it along just in case any paparazzi were still laying out there. “ _ Only _ you.”

On instinct, Reggie pulls the other curtain shut before leaning into Luke’s touch where he lays his head on his shoulder. “I love you too. I just...”

“I know... I know... Me too.”

Reggie hated this feeling he always got, this  _ jealousy _ that loomed inside him every time he saw the two together. It sucks, not being able to hold Luke the way he wants too in public – not being able to tell people the real reason why he turns down every girl that comes across his path. He  _ hates _ it, he loves having Luke all to himself – but, having to watch someone else _ pretend _ that they had Luke, it breaks his heart in ways he never thought possible.

_I don't_ _wanna_ _live love this way_   
_I don't_ _wanna_ _hide us away_   
_I wonder if it ever will change_   
_I'm living for that day, someday_

**_ 2003 _ **

The magazines and gossip sites were talking, Luke and Angie ‘broke up’ - neither Luke nor Angie could take the fake dating anymore, not when it was hurting their real partners – though, the press doesn’t know it. They will never know it; Reggie thinks as he lays beside Luke who was asleep next to him. It was getting harder as the months went by, as the months turned to  _ years _ . He thinks about Alex, and how this must be some  _ glimpse _ into how he felt before he came out to them. Feeling tears forming in his eyes, he removes himself from the bed not wanting to wake Luke up. Luke didn’t have to deal with his stupid  insecurities , even if he promised he’d always be there for him, some parts of Reggie still didn’t like  burdening his boyfriend with it all.

Quietly, he walks into the kitchen and grabbing out a tub of ice-cream and a spoon. Not bothering with a bowl, he’ll just eat the stuff right out of the container. Tears were freely falling down his face as he stabbed his spoon into iced treat. 

“Reg?” Luke’s sleepy voice says as he walks into their kitchen, his eyes going slightly wide when he notices the redness of his boyfriend’s eyes. As quick as he could, he goes to stand next to him, “Baby what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Reggie replies with a light shrug of his shoulders, eyes boring into the ice cream as he scoops out a spoon full before shoving it into his mouth. Feeling Luke brush some of his hair from his face, Reggie turns to look at Luke who’s face shows a lot of concern. “It’s stupid.”

“Tell me anyway,” Luke tells him, giving an encouraging smile the best that he could as he rests his hand on Reggie’s cheek.

Sucking in a deep breath, Reggie says, “I hate this...  _ hiding  _ that we do. I... It sometimes feels like... if we keep doing this, we...we’ll end up like my parents. This isn’t how  _ love _ is meant to be Luke, and even  _ I know it _ . I love you  _ so fucking much _ , but I can’t keep hiding it. I can’t Luke, I’d rather be  _ single _ then hide us away.”

“A-Are you breaking up with me?” Luke asks, his hand falling away from Reggie’s face as if it hurt. 

“Is that what you want?” Reggie asks in return, tears falling from his eyes.

“I don’t want too. I love you Reggie,” Tears were forming in Luke’s eyes, they started to fall when Reggie gave a small nod of his head and said,

“Then, can we when we next get asked,  _ say _ we’re both with someone.  _ That _ is it Luke, nothing more – just I want to be able to say I  _ am _ with someone.”

“They’ll _ ask _ , Reg. Then, if we don’t answer they’ll... they’ll figure it out. The world is still learning to accept this stuff,” Luke replies, and Reggie wipes at his eyes and starts to walk back to their room.

When Luke had followed him, Reggie was walking around the room. Pulling out a few clothes, stuffing them into a bag. Reggie pulls on his leather jacket before slinging the bag over his shoulders. Luke reached out to grab hold of Reggie’s wrist, “Baby,  _ please _ . We can talk this out,” Luke begs, stepping close to Reggie.

Softly shaking his head, Reggie fells a few tears falling down his face, “We did. You made your choice, I’m making mine. I love you Luke, but I can’t do this anymore.”

Luke surged forward, and Reggie can tell that he’s desperate to hold onto what he can when he feels Luke’s lips against his own. He can taste the tears, he is sure it’s both of theirs at this point, “I love you. I love you,” Luke keeps whispering over and over into the kiss. It’s a goodbye kiss and they both know it, “I love you Reg. Please...  _ Stay _ , please.”

“I’m sorry,” Reggie answers, voice quiet as he presses one last kiss to Luke’s cheek before walking out of the bedroom. His heart breaking at hearing Luke’s broken sob coming from inside the room, but he pushes through the pain and hopes in his car.

_Why can't you hold me in the street?_   
_Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_   
_I wish that it could be like that_

**_ 2005 - 2006 _ **

Sunset Curve haven’t come out with a new album in two years, and there were rumours that the band broke up but the truth is they were just getting really busy with other parts in their lives. Bobby was dealing with two kids, two little girls who are roughly a year or so apart in age. Alex was dealing with his sick mother, and working out the  _ issues _ he has with his parents. Luke, well – he keeps writing heartbroken songs, enough to fill an album or two. There were a few that weren’t, but they were love songs – and Reggie knows he’s the subject, and if they released  _ any _ of those songs, though some of the songs have popped up online from when Luke would go to a club and play songs solo. 

If someone listened  _ closely, _ they would notice the songs weren’t  _ specifically _ about a girl – but, that doesn’t stop the media from framing it as Luke still being in love Angie. Seeing those hurts him, and so he tries to ignore the comments on the videos. But, at times he finds himself reading them. 

Reggie has just been helping his friends with their children, both Bobby and his wife, and Rose and Ray. When he’s with Rose, he’s been writing a song – she's been helping him over the past year in between her motherly tasks of looking after Julie.

Julie was sitting in his arms, her fingers wrapped around the necklace that hung around his neck and he smiled down at her. Rose was softly playing the piano to the song they had been working on, while he sat on the couch with Julie. 

“That sounds wonderful,” Luke’s voice says, causing Reggie to look up at him with a smile upon his lips. Reggie wasn’t  _ over _ Luke, not in the slightest, but he can fake it. He learnt how to hide away he truly feels about Luke for  _ years _ . “Ray told me you were back here.”

“Did you need me, or Reggie?” Rose asks, a light smile upon her lips as she steps from behind the piano.

“You. For a potential part in a new song,” Luke says, and Reggie gives a small nod before getting up off the couch and taking Julie with him inside to her father. There was something he had been needing to ask of Ray anyway.

Reggie’s fingers drift over the keys as the music of the piano filled the room then, Reggie’s voice filled the room. “ _ We keep behind closed doors.. _ .” His voice was full of emotion and you can hear the hurt that filled his voice as he sung the words. Tears filled his eyes, and he can hear his voice crack slightly when he looks at Luke who also seemed to have tears fill his eyes, as he finishes the song Reggie doesn’t look away from Luke, “ _ Wish we could be like that.” _

There is a light applause that breaks Reggie’s gaze from Luke, then the MC came on stage giving his own round of applause and Reggie left the stage, letting the stage hands ready it for the next act. Not wanting to face Luke, he quickly makes his way to the bathroom instead of the seating he and his friends were at. They had been there to look at new and upcoming talents and to support Rose and her band. No one but he and Rose knew that Reggie had planned to sing his song, Rose having given him the courage to play it. Telling him that if he finally let’s it out, maybe he’d be able to move on.

He doesn’t think he can though, Luke still holds all of his heart in his hands even if the man doesn’t know it. Turning on the tap, Reggie splashes some water on his face – hoping it washes away the tears that were threating to spill. It doesn’t work and he grips the sink as a sob break through him. This has to be some kind of low, breaking down crying in a club in the bathroom all because he can’t get himself to stop loving Luke.

His body shakes with his sobs, the water running stops him from hearing as someone entered the bathroom. Only when he sees a hand on top of his does he realise that someone else was in there with him. Turning his head to see who it was, he curses himself because  _ of course _ it was him of all people.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Luke whispers into the room, stepping closer to him as he did so. Fingers going to hold Reggie’s in a better hold – to intertwine their fingers. They both want it, and they both know it – they want each other again and Reggie knows it, but he has to stand his ground.

Reggie steps away, pulling his hand away from Luke and faces him, “No. I know why we did what we did, but... I... we can’t do this again if we can’t be honest about it. So, no Luke.” He prides himself on how well he handled that, in making himself heard and walking out of the bathroom with his head held high even if his heart was sinking so far into the ground.

Taking a seat next to Alex, Reggie grabs the drink he left there and downs it in one go and Bobby and Alex look at him with a worried expression. Alex was about to say something when Luke came back to the table, and with an amazing amount of strength pulled Reggie up from the chair he was in. Shock ran through his mind as he wondered what the hell was going on, what was Luke going to -

Luke’s lips against his answered that question, and almost as if on instinct, Reggie felt himself kissing back. Feeling Luke’s hands cup his face, Reggie melts into the kiss. The fact that they’re in public leaving his mind as he took in the kiss, the feeling of Luke’s against his – a feeling he’s been missing for nearly two years, one he’s craved in that time. When they pull apart, Luke rests his forehead against Reggie’s, “I am  _ yours _ ,” Luke whispers just loud enough for Reggie to hear, “Forever yours.”

“And I’m yours,” Reggie replies, going in for a short chaste kiss.

_ Why can't we be like that?  _ _ 'Cause _ _ I'm yours _

**_ 2006 - 2008 _ **

If there were photos circling around the next few months of Reggie and Luke being together, neither minded. Rumours of the band switching labels surfaced, a few fans lost but nothing mattered because they were still doing what they loved. Luke was still making music with his friends, his family – with  _ Reggie _ by his side, and now the world knows just how much Luke loved Reggie because they’re no longer hiding it away. Sunset Curve did switch labels after their original manager had their head for Luke’s public stunt at the Open Mic night. They started on a new album, and if their next album was all about a love journey – well, that’s just a fan theory that it was the tale of Luke and Reggie love story that the fans indulge in. 

Music was softly playing around them as everyone was dressed in tuxes and dresses, Reggie was sitting at the table watching as Alex danced with his boyfriend next to Alex’s sister and her now husband. A smile spread across his lips when he saw a hand extend in front of him, eyes follow the hand to see Luke, “Come on.”

Reggie gladly takes the hand, and lets Luke led him out onto the dance floor where they wrap their arms around each other and sway to the music. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He presses a soft kiss to Luke's cheeks, and loves the smile that spread across his boyfriend's lips.


End file.
